My Body Project

In March of this year (2012) after having a conversation with my good friend Bri, I thought I would be a brave soul and take a photo of my belly, covered in stretchmarks and not toned and share it with my online Pinterest followers. It was hard at first to see my belly floating around the interwebs. Would people be grossed out, laugh, judge? I really didn't receive any feedback just a few shares and positive feedback from my friends. So that got me thinking....It wasn't that big of a deal! I could really inspire others with my story.

I then began throwing around ideas of starting my own Body Project. I don't know where I got the idea. But basically, I want to talk about how wonderful my body is. I want to talk about how it carries me from one place to the next. How my body is capable of holding my boys and hugging my friends. This is who I am. I want to love my body for how it is. I want to talk positively about my features and my strengths.
What is something about my body that I love?
(wow, I just got choked up. This is harder than I expected)
I guess, I love my well, shit. This is tough. I thought I would be able to easily start talking about my most favorite features. I can easily start thinking about what I hate about myself. wow________________

Let's try this again:
What is something I love about my body?
I love my shoulders. I love how they are rounded and strong. I love my collarbone too.

I love that my breasts fed my boys for the first years of their lives. That I have a body that can accommodate children. I love the color of my eyes and the length of my lashes. I love my waist and my smooth skin. I love that I can easily find a foundation color, all I have to do is grab the lightest one in the store.



__________ALRIGHT_______
That seemed pretty okay. I am smiling now. I feel pretty good. Much better than thinking and talking about my "not so favorite" features.
I decided that I would also take a photo of me. Just me. Nothing fancy. No makeup (only "remnants" from the day before). Hair not styled. Bare bones. This is me. No lies here.

Honestly, I am hesitating putting up the photo. If I do that, I can't go back. (What will people think? That I am conceited, vain, a slut, desperate, ugly, brave, noble, heroic)
From now on when someone sees me, they will know my secrets. They will know that I have love handles, luscious thighs, stretch marks, and child bearing hips.
--BUT---What if I can help one person cope with body acceptance.... What if one person can learn from me.... Learn to love themselves. 

I ask you....
What do you LOVE about your body?!
Can you share them with me, right now!?
Can you share them with your friends, family?
Can you write them on your mirror to remind yourself that you are whole? You are complete HOW YOU ARE! You are not anyone else. You will never be. This is your ONE chance to love you where you are NOW and never look back.


Look in the mirror and say: I love my body, it is strong, it is mine and I will care for it from this day forward.

Welppp, there I am...
Love you guys. xoxo

Has It Been a Year Already?

Wow. I have been 27 for almost a month now and have been meaning to write something, anything on my blog.
It has been a year since my post about how I have left behind the Christian faith. (READ HERE)
I would love to share where I am with you all.

I feel that as we all grow we start to see life much differently than our parents did. We control how we see our reality. We no longer have someone thinking for us, dictating for us how to live, where to go, what to eat or what to believe. It is at this point that we come to a cross roads. Do we choose our own path or follow the one that has been paved for us by our parents? Do we blindly follow in their foot steps? I know that we all have to make a decision either consciously or subconsciously whether we will forge our own path.

I have made the decision to forge my own. 

My children will have an education based on facts and not faith. They will be taught to love, tolerate, respect and accept those who are different then them no matter their race, gender or religion. I wish for my boys to be well-rounded men when they grow up. I am willing to admit that I don't know exactly how to raise the perfect children (no one does). I am, however, more than willing to go to the end of the earth to make sure that they are never harmed by religion. I never want them to be restricted by rules that limit their creativity, love or passion. If in the future, one of my boys were to tell me that he is gay, my desire is to be so connected to him that I will tell him; "You know what, I already knew. And you are in fabulous company!" What if one of my boys wants to be a stay at home dad? I would want him to love every minute of it without the indoctrination that teaches him that because he has a penis he must work until he can't work anymore. That his wife is to remain quiet and at home, taking care of the family. There are so many more examples of how I want my boys to see their world. I could go on for days. My vision for them is so beyond any religious text, so much richer and amazing. I am more grateful than ever that I have chosen to forgo religion and embrace reality.

This year has been a struggle. As I am getting older, I am more tired and stressed. I got a new (AMAZING) job, moved to a bigger house, got a dog, and learned that I love drag queens. You know, normal stuff. This past year, I have been trying my hardest to hold onto the friendships that have been established for years. But you know what? It's hard. I haven't really had the results I expected. Apparently when you decide to leave a club, the members don't invite you to anymore events or outings (even private ones). I have reminded myself that I have chosen this path. It may be a little lonely at times. It is not a well traveled one. I have not known of anyone, before now, who has taken this path. I will regain momentum as I keep focus and remind myself that I am doing this to make the world a better place for my boys. I am grateful for my tightly knit group of supportive friends and I will press on in my journey. I am ready to take on the next chapter of my life. Whatever it may be.
In the meantime, I would like to share a little quote with you: "I do not think it is necessary to believe that the same god who has given us our senses, reason, and intelligence wished us to abandon their use, giving us by some other means the information that we can gain through them." -Galileo Galilei

                                                                    Photo: Olivia Parker-Scott